Alan Pardew can be a bit of a prick. Which is often hilarious but also inconvenient at times, given that he’s the manager of a club that could do with some help in maintaining a dignified public face. In the past, he has shoved other managers. He has shoved linesmen. He has gone on Match of the Day and described a tackle as a “rape”. Earlier this season, TV cameras caught him calling Manchester City manager Manuel Pellegrini a “fucking old cunt” on the touchline. (In fairness, he is quite old.) And, on Saturday, Pardew – now firmly established as the “bad uncle” of English football – added to his rap sheet when he wobbled his head in the direction of Hull City midfielder David Meyler. Those watching deemed Pardew’s twitch to be a headbutt. And now he’s fucked.

Read the full column at VICE UK.

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